Like this:

I woke up this morning and found that a transition is happening in my thnking. Not anything earthshaking, just concerning my time to depart. (Gosh, I almost sound like the Apostle Paul or something concerning his death.) I, of course, am speaking of my time to leave the island and go back to the states. I am expecting to arrive safely, but whatever God decides. There is always a bit of a shadow when flying and talking about “terminals”.

Back on track….I was speaking about  getting mentally set to head back to my “other” life. I spent today writing my final tests and today was the final session for my Romans class until Friday’s test. Tomorrow will be the final teaching time for the other two. Perhaps it is that ending status of my responsibilities that is pressing in and moving my mind in a northern direction.

It has been a “quick” 3 weeks for me, that has proably seemed eternal in length for those hunched over by brutal winter winds and a continual accumulation of the white stuff. Within a few hours of being back, I will probably be joining the chorus of prayers for a soon to come Spring.

Usually, those who go on mission trips learn some lessons about themselves, friends and family and the attitudes of each in relation to the blessings and abundance of all that America offers by the grace of God. And unfortunately I have been on the earshot receiving end as people speak speak negatively from pulpit of their newly acquired enlightenment of how overindulgent, etc, etc. Americans are and how these ”fresh from the battle line” servants have now learned to be more appreciative, etc and etc. And those are good lessons to learn, great observations to make in retrospect, but too often the people come off so, oh, I don’t know, sanctimonious maybe? The attitude in which it is all delivered is often from a “look down my nose” perspective with a pinch of judgmentalism thrown in. And it is truly sad to watch those folks over time and through the conforming pressure of society, lose the clarity of soul vision for which the only Claritan may be another mission trip. I know that happens to me. I learned so much from Nicaragua trips about myself and my distorted living “needs”. I remember making self-promises to be less selfish and live more simply, and I am embarrassed by the short amount of time it may have taken me to “conform” once again to selfishness and the delights of the eyes.

For three weeks, I have lived very well without the various foods I have jokingly mentioned in these blogs, and it has probably been good for me. I still would like some sweet tea when these guys are drinking hot tea in the middle of the blazing hot afternoon, and I will not feel guilty about not having rice and beans every day for both post-breakfast meals, but I did survive. And I lived three weeks without a cell phone! I never had one for years and years of my life, but at home I “must” have one. Really? I have not driven a vehicle for three weeks. That is the longest stint in my nearly 40 years of driving. I may have to visit the BMV for retraining before my first attempt to motor, or I may find myself wanting to drive on the opposite side of the road!!! Times like this opportunity to teach in St. Vincent can be used (and have been used) by God to clear the head and more importantly, to clear the heart a bit. Please, please I hope I am not committing the faux pas of which I spoke and coming off with raised eyebrows and a “holier than thou attitude”. As i said, I know my own weakness and overindulgence and even now I am fearful and mournful of what may happen to me when I arrive back home and “normal” sets in with the frenzy of “catch up”.I speak only of some of the stirrings in my own heart that God has been shifting; casting no stones at others or shouting “look at me”. I am simply wanting  to share, not condemn or measure others in my self-directed magnifying glass.

One thing I rediscovered here on the island was the simple truth that the family of God wears many skin colors and speaks with many accents. The common denominator is love that is deep and rich through our common Savior, the Lord Jesus. This evening at the end of our worship time, worship  just as Christ-honoring, powerful and faith-building as any I have experienced in the states, 10 of us joined hands in a circle. In one hand I held the hand of a deeply black skinned man from Jamaica, and in the other, the light brown skinned hand of a man from St. Vincent. Hands I may never hold again. They each held the hand of a white man (with a bit of a tan) from Kentucky, USA, and together with heads bowed, with no instruments but the harmony of our voices we joined 7 others in singing “Change my heart O God, make it ever true, change my heart O God, let me be like you. You are the potter, I am the clay, Mold me and make me, this is what I pray. Change my heart O God, make it ever true. Change my heart O God. Let me be like you.”

Worship that touches heaven and returns to earth to fill the heart of the worshiper. A common prayer from different hearts within different bodies whose home is heaven, but who began their journeys in different countries. These are my (your) brothers and sisters. The upper room where we worshiped was a pretaste of heaven where people from every tribe, tongue and nation will praise the Creator who sent His son for the salvation of any one from any location who will bow before the Lordship of Christ. In my “other” life where I am so concerned about the mechanics and workings of a “smooth” worship service, i sometimes lose sight of how simple worship really is and what it is all about. Worship is the cry of praise as well as the pleading of any person exposing his/her deepest desire while singing from the soul, “Change my heart O God, let me be like you.”  Realizing that nothing else, all the gifts we enjoy, nothing else, exceeds the value of God’s people and  the “worthship” (yes, you read that correctly) the “wortship” of our mighty Father.  

I guess I will that sit and not disturb it with more words.

God bless you. Change our hearts O God, let them be like you.

Rob

Advertisement